How to Move Through The "Ember Months" Without Losing Yourself

Life is fleeting. 
You're only here for a moment, so savor it as much as you can.

The "ember months" carry a strange weight. Days feel heavier, time feels shorter and the unfinished goals of the year suddenly feel louder. We start to feel like we are running out of time. We look back and begin to measure ourselves against what we’ve achieved or haven't: financially, in relationships, in career or business. It's easy to be swept into this tide of comparison and urgency. We tell ourselves we should have done more, earned more, grown more. And in that measuring, joy begins to shrink.

 

But here's the gentle truth; You were never meant to be reduced to accomplishments. You weren't put on this earth only to achieve or compare your journey to anyone else's. The first and most important priority has always been simply to live. To savor life so fully that, when it’s all said and done, you’ll be proud of how well you lived. 

 

Practical Ways to Stay Grounded This Season

These small, intentional choices can help you navigate the ember months with more ease and peace of mind.

1. Mistakes Are Growth

Allow yourself to make mistakes. They are not signs of failure but natural steps on your journey as a living breathing being. What feels like a wrong turn carries its own wisdom, shaping you in ways success alone never could. And as the artist of your life, you can create and recreate as many times as you need. Every mistake simply adds new depth to the canvas of your story.

 

2. Practice Gratitude

Gratitude is a lens shift. Instead of measuring what's missing, notice what's already here. The steady presence of loved ones, the roof over your head, the meal that nourished you today, good health. These small recognitions remind you that life is abundant even when it feels incomplete. Gratitude doesn't dismiss longing, it teaches you to see beauty in what is while holding space for what will come. 

3. Be Kind to Yourself.

Treat yourself with the same compassion you'd offer a dear friend. Harshness towards yourself doesn't move you forward; it only wears you down. Find the courage to live an imperfect life knowing you're doing the best you can with what this year has given you. Kindness creates space for growth; criticism closes that door. 

 

4. Celebrate Every Win (Big and Especially Small) 

Every step forward is worth honouring. The small victories, the moments no one else sees or gives you credit for: they are proof that you are moving, growing, and becoming. Don't wait for the big milestones to feel proud of yourself. Every effort is worth celebrating. 

5 . No Is Self-Love

”No.”

"No, that doesn't work for me right now."

"That sounds wonderful, but I can't take it on right now."

"I really appreciate the offer, but I'll have to pass."

Saying no doesn't make you unkind. It's an act of self respect and self-love, a way of setting healthy boundaries, honouring your needs and protecting your peace. You don't have to burn yourself to make others comfortable. Your worth is not measured by how much of yourself you give away.

 

6. Prepare For Unsolicited Remarks

Family gatherings and holiday meet-ups often come with unwelcome questions:

 "What are you doing with your life?"

 "When are you finally settling down?"

"No kids yet?"

"When is the promotion?"

Rather than letting them weigh on you, be ready with answers that are calm, confident, respectful but firm. You don't owe anyone a timeline or an explanation. Your journey is yours, not a community project.

 

7. Micro-Rituals 

Small rituals can ease daily pressures and anchor you in the present. An evening walk in nature while listening to your favourite podcast or audiobook can calm you. Writing down three things you are grateful for each night shifts your focus to what's working. Turning Saturdays into a tradition of pancakes and fresh coffee or tea with your favourite playlist in the background can offer comfort. Yoga, meditation or lighting a candle with dinner … these little moments keep you grounded and remind you of what truly matters.

What Truly Matters

Life is not a straight race toward achievement. Its beauty lies in its rhythm of renewal. In the chance to try again, every hour, every day, every month, every year. As Dostoevsky reminds us in White Nights:

"Life is eternally renewing, eternally young, and not a single hour of it resembles any other." 

Explore products to help you slow down and savor the moment

 

We'd love to hear from you. How are you moving through the ember months? What small rituals or practices help you feel more at ease? Share with us in the comments or tag us on instagram @cocostremi

Until then, breathe deep, light slow, come back to you.